single review–Stargazer (Alice Nine)

Stargazer_cover (1)

One fine day, the Alice Nine boys were all taking a breather in their office. While they are still riding high on the warm welcome received by Senkou, the boys were tired and close to burn out due to touring and preparations for their big concert at Nippon Budokan.

Then suddenly, Big Bad Record Executive made a grand entrance and broke the serene mood (Let’s hide him under the name, Mr. Satoh).

“Alright, boys” exclaimed the very giddy Mr. Satoh. “I say we strike while the iron is hot. We need to release another single soon.”

“But Satoh-sama,” pouted Shou “we’ve been extremely busy and hadn’t had time to create new material.”

Mr. Satoh became very livid causing both Shou and Hiroto to cower. Saga retreated in a corner, pretending to lick clean his bass guitar. Tora and Nao seemed unaffected.

“Preposterous! I know fully well that you have a stash of unreleased songs stored somewhere.” said Mr. Satoh. “Or you could very well start writing new ones. Think boys. Think! Or have the hair dyes finally seeped to your brains?”

All eyes were then directed to band leader Nao who first cleared his throat before muttering, “Well, I guess we could release Karma as a single. It was supposed to be on Vandalize but we had to let it go when we were told to trim down the tracklist.”

“But MUCC is already working on an album called Karma!” exclaimed the now-blonde Hiroto who has been fussing on his hair since Mr, Satoh remarked about the hair dye.

Mr. Satoh walked back and forth, “Don’t you have anything upbeat? Something fun and positive?”

Shou finally had the courage to speak up again, “How about STARLIGHT? We initially wrote it as the theme for Doraemon but the producers thought it was cheesy. Funny, the people behind Digimon said the same thing for Shinkirou.”

“STARLIGHT?” The wheels inside Mr. Satoh’s head seemed to be spinning on hyper mode. “That could work. But change the title to.. to Stargazer! Flower names as titles are a charm. Just think how many jrocks songs are named after that weed freesia.”

Shou was just about to protest on the name change but Mr. Satoh was already busy on the phone.

“Alright boys,” repeated the once again giddy Mr. Satoh. “Stargazer will be your new single. We’ll even add that Karma and that Shinkirou for good measure. Announcements are being posted online as we speak.”

And that, my friends, is the story of how Alice Nine’s Stargazer, undoubtedly one of the most disappointing and insipid releases of the year, came to be.


note: This work is entirely pure fiction, of course. In one interview, Shou shares that Stargazer was written with performing in Budokan in mind. However, as I was listening to the entire single, I can’t help but think of children’s anime hence the reference to Doreamon and Digimon.

I initially didn’t want to review the single but I needed to block out a very devastating news so I came up with this. I eschewed my usual way of reviewing but I believe the above still gets my point across.


4 thoughts on “single review–Stargazer (Alice Nine)”

  1. Oh my gosh, this was hilarious!! XD Mainly because of how true it may possibly be! ;P I lolled at the Karma/MUCC (When I saw there was a track called Karma I was like, “Wait a minute, didn’t MUCC just release an album called Karma?” XD) mention and the Freesia one too! XD

  2. the fictionstory made me lol, i really thought it was true!!! you got me…

    but the more funny parts is that stargazer was the very first alice nine songs ive heard it was recommended to me by a friend cuz it was her favorite, when i first heard the songs it felt very refreshing, it feels like im listening to 80`s type of song, i imagined the singer with a mature look cuz i havent seen any of the member that time, back to the song, the song has that laidback feeling and the more i listen to it the more i like it…

    its actually a good song in my opinion but far from gradation (one of my fav so far)

    1. To be honest, I’ve forgotten about this review already. Haha. I’ve been on hiatus for so long.

      Thank you for stopping by. I hope it’s still not too late to ask but what is your favorite A9 song?

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