Hurry Xmas Online Party on December 22

Reblogged from LArcMNL:

Get set for what could be this year's biggest online gathering of L'Arc~en~Ciel fans all over the world!

Presented in cooperation with L'Arc~en~Ciel Canada, L'Arcboy04 and The Sketchbook Journal of larcencielreview.com and @evilashi, the L'Arc~en~Ciel Philippine Street Team is proud to give you Hurry Xmas: the L'Arc~en~Ciel Online Xmas Party for fans on December 22, 9AM.

To join, simply log-in to plug.dj.com using either your Twitter or Facebook account then search for the room with the hashtag #hurryxmas12 .

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LIVE REPORT: ONE OK ROCK Start Walking the World Tour Live in Singapore (June 30, 2012)

Either it was really fate or we were just really BLESSED (yes, the L’Arc fan in me just cannot resist making those song references XD)

Sat and I arrived at the*SCAPE in Singapore gawking at the VIP line and wondering where the heck the line for the poor souls at GA went off to. We visited the venue the day before so we knew that the GA line should be just opposite that of the VIP’s.  After loitering at the merchandise booth where surprisingly there was no line at all, we finally got the sense to ask where we should line up. Turned out all we had to do was walk a few steps from where we were already standing. Toinks. Good thing for us, the line at GA was not yet very long. We settled then to our spot and braced ourselves for the 4 hours to go before gates open.

Waiting didn’t turned out to be an exercise on patience. There was a threat of rain earlier (hence why the GA line was transferred) but it gave way to conducive weather. We passed the time trading stories and contemplating on which merchandise shirt to buy. Also briefly talked to a guy who said he travelled from Malaysia and that he has been an OOR fan for more than 3 years. Now that got me a bit worried. To be honest, I’ve only been listening to the band for less than 2 months and have yet to own an album of theirs. Grooveshark and YouTube were my supportive friends during my getting to know you stage with ONE OK ROCK. They made me familiar with a number of songs but the tracks which I can sing along to were barely a handful. Ok, so just maybe one and it’s the song which really drew me into the band: Liar.

Crew from AFA (or was it J-Live?) came over and filmed us. Twice. The instructions were pretty simple: just act excited. No acting needed for that, mister. We really were excited, giddy even! After that, we finally came face to face with Yaone whom we knew online. She came with good tidings: KOI milk tea and my L’Arc poster from their live 2 months prior. Time then went even faster. Sat drew anime version of us and we traded stories even more. Next thing we knew, staff was already telling us to stand up and get ready.

Getting inside the venue was such a breeze. Kudos to J-Live for being so organized. They let in people by batches, VIPs first (of course) and then us at GA a few persons at a time. Right on the dot, almost everyone was inside Warehouse. The live was sold out but crowd was hardly stifling.  Ours was a good spot, just 3 lines from the barricades separating GA from VIP and right between the places of the vocalist and guitarist. In other words, good view of Taka and Toru. Score!

Another plus points for everyone: the live started promptly at 7pm. The stage lights erupted with blinding brilliance but our eyes couldn’t get any wider as the boys appeared on stage. Now you have been warned earlier that I am not familiar with all their songs so I won’t be able to describe each performance in detail. No official setlist had been released as of this writing but according to my two sources, it should be more or less like this:

1. CODA
2. LOST AND FOUND
3. Never Let This Go
4. 皆無
5. Re:make
6. 世間知らずの宇宙飛行士
7. アンサイズニア
8. Mr.現代Speaker
9. Liar
10. Wherever you are
11. C.h.a.o.s.m.y.t.h.
12. Let’s take it someday
13. NO SCARED
14. 恋ノアイボウ心ノクピド
15. 完全感覚Dreamer

encore

1. じぶんROCK
2. 内秘心書

(source: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/one-ok-rock?before=1341078704 and http://untestsubject.tumblr.com/post/26225400853)

The energy of the live was so unbelievable! And it was mutual. Both band and audience fed off the exuberance of the other. There was earnestness in ONE OK ROCK’s performance that we the audience couldn’t help but be drawn to it. The moment the first note was played, our eyes and ears were totally theirs. Arms were outstretched and palms and fists were reaching out into the stage as if it was the very cradle of existence.

Taka was one hell of a vocalist. Imagine a hyperactive kid who had yet another sugar overdose and who happened to be really, really good at singing and you have Taka. He was bouncing around the stage, head-banging, arms flailing all the while seemingly never missing a note. We couldn’t see Tomoya at all but our ears told us that he was banging those drums with full vigor. Ryota and Toru, on the other hand, made a smashing pair. The two of them headbanging with Taka was a sight to behold. Such energy! Such passion! Such talented good-looking boys (spazz)!

Their MCs were also amusing. Speaking in a mixture of Mandarin, Japanese and hell yeah English, they regaled us with their thoughts of Singapore. Taka’s English was really good and he moderated the flow of introductions very well. Ryota was wearing a USS shirt and in his MC he showered poetics on Singapore and even sings a bit a Mandarin song. Tomoya was next and he didn’t even made an effort to conceal that he was reading off a script! He was so nervous it was adorable. Last but not the least was Toru and his was the most engaging. He spoke about being sad for not being able to see the Merlion as it was under construction. But he, as the other members professed too, was really happy to play for the Singapore audience.

In the middle of the set, a familiar tune was strummed and I was instantly livid. Holy shit, it’s Liar! Finally, a song I can sing along to in its entirety!!! And sing I did and even more. Call me biased but the stage lighting was even much better for this performance. Every time the chorus hit, the stage would be bathe in red light and then it would explode like a celestial collision. After that, ONE OK ROCK took us back to earth with a gut-wrenching rendition of Wherever you are. It was very poignant and Taka allowed the audience to sing bits of the songs. To L’Arc fans, this should be the OOR equivalent of MY HEART DRAWS A DREAM. It was that emotional, at least for me. And then while we were still reeling, Taka asked someone from the audience to translate his MC. The next song, he said, was written for a good friend and as he saw everyone there as his friends, the song now was for all of us. I could have sworn I hear sniffles. That could have been me stifling a sob. The song? C.h.a.o.s.m.y.t.h. Our minds? Totally blown.

At one point during the live and I forgot for which song, Taka made us go “Eh?!” by asking everyone to sit down. There were a lot of uncoordinated movement and losing balance but Taka was firm “I want you to sit down…. and then jump!” I wasn’t even sure now if our feet landed back on the floor after that. Everyone was so high, literally and figuratively. And Ryota was no longer wearing a shirt! Boom.

Taka then announced that they were down to their last song. We were naturally reluctant to let them go. As we wait for the encore, some started singing WO-OHH-OHH from アンサイズニア which Taka made us repeat over and over again when they performed the song earlier. The band then came back, Ryota still shirtless and the rest still sigh, fully clothed. Taka did change though to the Singapore exclusive tour shirt. They played two more songs and then it was over.

Getting out of the venue was also very organized. We went to the merchandise booth to buy a shirt and then ran outside to catch a glimpse of the band as they leave the venue. It was a wait peppered with excitement and false starts. A number of times, we thought it was already the band coming out but it was only a staff member. One security basked in the spotlight and pretended to part of the band. He was hamming it up for the cameras and made us all laugh. Not for long though for as soon as the band came out, it was every wannabe paparazzi for his or herself.

Tired and hungry, Sat, Yaone and I scampered over to Somerset to look for a place to eat. We settled for Ramen Play and ate our ramen in peace, each lost in our own thoughts and probably replaying the live in our heads. Sat was determined to have a taste of Singapore Sling that night so we decided to go to Marina Bay Sands next. But before we left, I got a message from my close friend Berto that he can finally meet with me tonight (he stood me up the other night) so we waited for him. When we told him we want to drink Singapore Sling, he recommended that we go to Raffles Hotel instead as it was there where the famous cocktail was born.

The four of us stayed at Raffles Hotel until they kicked us out because they had to close already. Sat was finally united with hyde’s nemesis, the Singapore Sling while Berto and Yaone told us stories of their stay in Singapore. The discussion afterwards went from personal to profound. The other patrons left one by one and the reggae band has packed up but we were still in deep conversation. Finally, the waiter just politely asked us to leave. Since Chijmes was just around the corner, we decided to just transferred there. BEST. DECISION. EVER.

We walked around Chijmes admiring the whole courtyard. We took Polaroid shots that didn’t even captured the view and there were a lot of teasing. While looking for a place to stay, Yaone suddenly drew us aside and said “It’s ONE OK ROCK!” I turned around and true enough, the big party at the next table included the band. I couldn’t suppress a shout and their staff members casted a bewildered look at us. We then casually strolled to the next table and acted natural. Berto and Sat took off to order us beer. Yaone and I did our best not to stare. Toru was in my line of sight and I was milking the opportunity for all it’s worth. For some reason, Berto and Sat were taking too long. Yaone and I were actually contemplating approaching the band but in the end we decided not to intrude their privacy. We just contented ourselves throwing sly glances their way.

Finally, our beer arrived. At the corner of my eye, I saw Taka leave their table. I didn’t know what pushed me to say it but I grabbed Sat’s collar and whispered to him “You may want to go to the restroom.” Sat gave me a confused him look but I just widened my eyes at him and gestured to the restroom. Finally he complied. As he was entering the restroom, Taka came out. I was observing the whole episode as it unfolded. Awkward moment between them. Then Taka saw Sat was wearing the Singapore live shirt. He said Whoa! They were a bit far so I couldn’t hear a thing but Sat must have said that we were at the live. He pointed at our table then it was Taka pointing to our table. Next thing I knew Taka was walking towards us. I elbowed Yaone and kept repeating “holy shit!”. Taka was in front of me and he was extending his hand. I closed my jaw. Blinked a number of times. Finally gathered my wits. Took his hand and said “We just saw you live earlier. It was a great show!”. He said “Thank you” then walked to my side of the table. I told him I flew all the way from the Philippines to see them and that Sat was from Canada. Taka said, “Canada?” then he turned to their table, called the attention of this band mates and said “Canada!”

What happened next will be forever replayed in my head for all eternity. In slow motion.

All the members of ONE OK ROCK were suddenly at our table. I didn’t know where to look! It’s like they were everywhere all at once! Introductions were made. I was gushing. Sat was blushing. Yaone was tweeting! Berto was a pleased spectator. Taka asked me how old we are. It turned out he was about the same age as Sat. I told him I hope they will visit the Philippines someday. He said “Sure. We’ll do our best”. I countered that we’ll be ready. Next, I got lost in Toru’s eyes. Such nice facial features. He was very reserved but he can say nothing and I would still be contented. Meanwhile Ryota and Tomoya were the most enthusiastic. I told Ryota I liked his abs but it seemed he didn’t understand it. Tomoya said they were still learning English. I said it was ok. Then Ryota asked in Japanese if I understand the language. I replied that I know a little. He asked why. I said so I can understand your songs. He and Tomoya spazzed out. I was spazzing out too. I was able to converse in Japanese with ONE OK ROCK! There were a lot more handshaking after that. The boys introduced us to their bosses. One of them suggested that we take pictures. Yes, it was them who suggested we take pictures! Their manager, I believed, volunteered to take our picture. And then they all went back to their table.

Sat, Berto, Yaone and I exchange looks that said all of us were still processing if whether the last 10 minutes or so did happened. It must have been a while since we snapped out of our catatonic state. We filled up our mugs to the rim and made an extravagant toast. Cheers! The four of us talked some more. My phone was close to dying so unfortunately I couldn’t document the event in real time. Yaone said some of our online friends had already heard of our good fortune and that mentions of disbelief and congratulations were pouring in. Heck, ONE OK ROCK and their staff were at the next table and we still can’t believe that we actually talked to them. We downed our beer. Challenged each other on who can finish theirs first. Sat won. Boo. Then we exchanged banter again.

Around 3AM, the people at the next table turned to leave. Wonders of wonders, the band members returned to our table to say good-bye. What have we done to deserve such good karma? It was a huge effort not to hanaji right then and there. We exchanged a few words again. And then I asked if we can have their autograph. They complied. Taka was such a sweetheart as he was the one passing around our notebooks to the other members. There were more gushing until finally the promise to meet each other again, whether it will be in Singapore or in another country.

We waited until the whole band and their entourage left Chijmes and then collectively let out a LOUD scream! All the emotions we were holding back came out in full force. WE JUST TALKED TO AND SHOOK THE HANDS OF ONE OK ROCK!

I have the pictures and their autograph to prove it. But up to this day, I still can’t believe it has happened. I can pinch myself until it hurts just to prove even to myself that it was no dream. But then again, there is nothing left to bleed. My heart can’t take this anymore.

Until the next live.

 

LIVE REPORT: L’Arc~en~Ciel 20th L’Anniverary World Tour Live in Hong Kong (March 03, 2012)

FROM HOSPITAL TO HONG KONG: L’ADVENTURE DAY 1

Armed with my doctors’ clearance and sheer determination, I made it to Hong Kong around 9:30 in the morning, a day before the concert. I actually didn’t think I could make it considering that I just had a major surgery more than 2 weeks ago but I’ve planning for this since last year and everything has been laid out. Besides, this unique opportunity to see one of my favorite bands live had fortified my will to get better in the speediest time possible.

Upon arrival, I immediately set out to Asia World Expo to claim my ticket. The box office had yet to open and there was already a really, really long line. Apparently, pre-sale for Lady Gaga’s May live was on the same day. I went to customer service instead but was told that even though I’m just going to claim my already paid-for ticket, I still need to line up. Staff at the end of the line then gave me my stub: No. 248. Great. 

Two hours later and I’m still far off from the box office. Lady Gaga’s fans were also getting more irate as tickets were running out fast. I asked a guard if there’s some other way to claim my ticket and was more than ready to play the sick card. However, he promptly instructed me to wait in a corner for the Lady Gaga pre-sale to be over. While waiting, I bumped into other L’Arc fans: May and Ming from Singapore and Kei and Liz from the Philippines. As we were chatting, a girl wearing a big grey hoodie and carrying 2 cups of coffee passed by. When her back was turned to us, her hoodie has “L’ArCrew” in it! It was also around this time when we heard a collective groan from the long line ahead of us. Lady Gaga tickets had sold out. Monster move over. It’s now time for us Cielers to claim what’s rightfully ours.

After getting our tickets, Liz, Kei and I went downstairs to the concert venue with hopes of finding out to whom those coffee cups end up with. Three other girls were already there but the guard already had her eye on them so we just moved on. I bid good-bye to Liz and Kei with the invite to meet with them before the concert tomorrow.

I then checked in to my hotel which I purposely chose to keep up with the L’Arc spirit.

My doctors specifically said that I should stay put as much as possible so I just spent the remainder of the day holed up in my room. Then again with the view that I had, there’s no reason to complain. As I gaze into the Hong Kong’s stunning skyline, I couldn’t help but feel elated. But of course.  I made it to Hong Kong. I’m gonna see L’Arc~en~Ciel in a few hours. I survived a medical emergency. Life is indeed good.

 MERCHANDISE MADNESS AND THE CONCERT COUNTDOWN:  L’ADVENTURE 2.1

I went to Asia World Expo by 11:30 am and was again greeted by a line of people that extended to the streets already. And I thought I was already early ORZ . It doesn’t help that Hong Kong was freezing! The fog was thick and the wind was crazy. Between worrying if the goods would be sold out before my turn and battling hypothermia, I amused myself by people watching. As expected, many arrived in full cosplay regalia. Variations of hyde roamed the venue. Most fans were in gothic Lolita. What really drew my attention though was the parade of goods from previous lives. There were all so tempting.

12NN arrived and finally some movement. Selling of the goods had started! Everyone’s excitement had become more tangible in the air. I reached the goods table past 1PM. My haul:

• World’s Best Selection + Shirt Premium Package
• Light stick
• Eco bag
• Tour grey tee
• Tour Book

Yes, I exceeded my budget. I am so doomed.

It’s impractical to go back to the hotel so I just loitered around with Liz and Kei. The flurry of activity was very stimulating. There were a lot of banners and everyone was welcome to put their messages to the band. The line at the goods table continued to grow longer. We also spotted a very suave-looking Oishi Masahiro taking pictures of the crowd.

As night time came close, people began clustering into the entrance. I positioned myself upfront. They started letting people in at exactly 7:10 and I’m one of the very first to enter. I settled into my seat:  Block B, Row G, Seat No.10 and contentedly wait for my dream to become reality.

THE BRAIDS ARE BACK AND THE BIRDS ARE ANGRY: L’ADVENTURE 2.2

It’s already 8PM and people were still filing in. The live was not sold out but I swear there were only a handful of seats at the very back that are vacant.

8:20PM. The lights dimmed out and everyone screamed. Well everyone except me. My doctors only allowed me to go on the condition that I cannot jump and shout. They also said that I cannot stand for so long but I’ve been on my two feet for practically the whole day already so what the heck.

The stage was actually quite sparse but when the LED screen light up, oh WOW. I was immediately reminded of the CHASE PV. The screen dissolved into pixels then it showed butterflies flying around a futuristic city. Then they fluttered around the globe. Alternately, the names of the countries included in the tour were flashed. The butterflies reached outer space. Afterwards, the screen turned into four copper plate panels bearing the names of each member. It transitioned into 4 galactic beings seemingly sleeping in their alien pods. They were wearing a metallic suit with a helmet and they were all in a semi-fetal position. A butterfly landed on alien hyde’s hand. We knew it was hyde because of his braids. The tubes on his back actually complimented those darn braids. A hissing sound signaled the helmet being taken off and there we have it: a larger than life close up of hyde’s eyes opening up. The camera moved back to show his full face and by jove, he was breathtaking! hyde raised his right fist and in slow motion, he punched the screen. The glass shatters. The band appeared. The 20^th L’Anniversary World Tour has commenced.

L’Arc~en~Ciel kicked off the evening with Ibara no Namida – a personal favorite of mine. The crowd was so livid. Everyone around me was absolutely losing it. As for me, I just settled with swaying my right hand as the other clutched my abdominal binder. I too was so ecstatic but was also wary that giving in might land me another trip to the hospital. Anyway, INN gave way to CHASE and GOOD LUCK MY WAY. The band had obviously found their bearing and was now in full form. hyde and tetsu roamed both sides of the stage while ken was just stationary on the right. As for yuki, he was high and mighty on his throne at the center. Some random visuals similar to that on CHASE PV were projected into the screen.

After GLMW, hyde made an acceptable attempt of speaking in Chinese. He looked so adorable saying the lines as if confirming with the audience first if he was saying it right. Then he would glance at his cheat sheet on the floor and say it again. The screen turned light orange with a huge butterfly in the middle and hyde segued into honey. He was barely into the second verse when a technical glitch happened. hyde had this goofy “wait, this can’t be happening” look. Screen turned black. Mere seconds later, the huge butterfly reappeared and the band started the song again.

Drink it Down followed and all throughout the screen showed a bevy of naked girls dancing. Good thing they were all in silhouette. It’s like one of those James Bond opening credits. Then it was time for more active audience participation. revelation was playing and we all had a superb time pumping our firsts to chants of “yeah!”.

The stage dimmed only to reveal tetsu, hyde and ken sitting on the platform marking yuki’s dominion. The melodious intro of Hitomi no Juunin was heard and the whole venue was swathed in sentimental calm. hyde was sitting down the whole time yet he never missed a note. Amazing, especially considering that HNJ has a ridiculously high chorus. XXX followed. While hyde was already doing his infamous penguin dance even during INN, he was now using it to full effect. hyde was shaking his booty like there was no tomorrow and the movement was emphasized by his long braids.

Then came hands down, my favorite part of the evening: the back to back perfection of forbidden lover and MY HEART DRAWS A DREAM. For forbidden lover, the stage was bathed in warm red light. hyde was obviously tearing up during the chorus. As the song draws to the end he closed his eyes, held his arms wide as if in surrender while a soft breeze blows his hair. It was an ethereal moment. The entire performance was so moving it hurt. The stage went black as if to allow everyone to compose themselves. After a short while, the spotlight turned to ken and he began bluesy guitar solo that introduced MY HEART DRAWS A DREAM. MHDAD is no doubt a great song but when heard live, it takes on a life of its own. It was a very emotionally driven performance made more inspiring as the audience became one in singing “yume wo egaku yo”. Goosebumps.

The mood made a 360 degree turn when ken began his MC. Like hyde, he also spoke in Chinese all the while holding a package. I couldn’t understand a thing back then but it turned out he brought a present for hyde (for his birthday perhaps?). When hyde opened the package, we all burst out laughing. It was a set of Angry Birds action figures! Ken turned his attention back to us as he shouted “So many angry” and “ANGRY!?” The whole exchange was like this:

ken: Angry?

Audience: Bird!

ken: Angry?

Audience: Bird!

ken: Angry?

Audience: Bird!

ken: SEVENTH?

Audience: HEAVEN!!!

Seventh Heaven was followed by other L’Arc staples Driver’s High, STAY AWAY and READY STEADY GO. STAY AWAY was introduced by tetsu’s bass solo. He did his thing in front of three enormous speakers that weren’t there a moment ago. As the song started, the screen showed an army of androids doing the robot dance in synchronized form. It was quite amusing actually. READY STEADY GO then made everyone all fired up. We were so into the moment I guess that not everyone noticed that hyde and ken already left the stage. tetsu got engaged with an intense bass versus drums battle with yuki but the focus was more on tetsu. He swaggered a bit then left his bass on top of his giant speakers and exited the stage with flourish. yuki had the stage to himself and boy did he milk it for all it’s worth. He performed a jaw dropping drum solo that left everyone on the edge. Thump, thump thump he went until the spotlight faded out and the stage reverted to what it was 2 hours ago: empty.

The sounds of airplanes taking off were then heard. I’m not really sure if this was part of the show or just an effect of the venue being near the airport after all. Everyone was looking around as if expecting the boys to appear on another part of the venue. When it became apparent that hyde’s not gonna come floating down from the ceiling with butterfly wings, some began chanting “ENCORE!” 5 minutes later and still an empty stage. All the while I’m thinking that that can’t be it. They haven’t even played the new songs yet! No one was budging out of their seats anyway. Suddenly, the whole right section of the venue erupted into a human wave. Everyone then followed suit. It went on and on and every time a cycle was complete, we would dissolve into fits of laughter. The wave eventually died down only to be replaced with more chants of “ENCORE!”.

After about 15 minutes or so, the stage glowed in white and the orchestra version of Anata was heard. The band members were not yet visible so we the audience sang the song instead. It was again another goosebump inducing moment. The band then showed themselves and hyde claimed his song. He however allowed us to sing whole chorus. winter fall, The Fourth Avenue Café and Link came next. It was during these performances wherein we’ve seen some pyrotechnic action on the stage. At one point, fire even engulfed the stage. As the notes of Link faded, hyde began his MC. Majority was still in Chinese but he did say this in English: “It’s the start of the world tour. Thank you Hong Kong!” Then the band launched into a heart wrenching performance of Niji. Feathers came shooting out of the stage. And soon after, tetsu was hurling bananas into the audience. Before throwing out the last banana, he even bit into it. Next thing we knew he was firing at us with his banana shaped water gun. He walked into the right side of the stage and he was gone. So were hyde, ken and yuki.

The concert was apparently over. No Bye Bye Bye, Mirai Sekai, wild flower and Shade of Season. Everyone was already leaving so I likewise exited the venue. When I met up with Liz and Kei, I couldn’t help but tell them that I was a bit disappointed. I was really looking forward hearing the new songs live. However, when I already had time to reflect, I realized it was more of a feeling of something missing rather than disappointment over songs that were not played. And it was definitely not L’Arc~en~Ciel’s fault. It was due to the simple fact that it was just really difficult to wholly immense oneself into the whole live experience when you also have an incision to be careful about. Well, this could only mean one thing right? I need to see them live once more! Someday, somehow. Until then, who’s up for a game of Angry Birds?

in memoriam

Today I remember how in 2008 I was in desperate need to satiate my jrock fix. My favorite band L’Arc~en~Ciel has just announced their hiatus and I needed a new band to fill in the void. While scouring the jrock section of the Ongaku Society forums, I stumbled upon the thread for this band that was described as “sounding like the old Dir en Grey”. I took a chance with one of the recommend songs, Grudge. I failed to note the Dir en Grey influence but my interest was indeed piqued. I listened to another song then another. I watched a clip of them performing Tatoeba kimi ga shindara live and was amazed how the vocalist seemed to sound even better than the recording. Then I switched to their performance of Screen during the Spiral Staircase tour. The lights were low, the sound even lower. The vocalist started his verse. The music built up. The vocalist hit a high note as the guitars screamed. The lights went up and I knew right then and there they would have me for life.

I remember listening to Squall for the first time and having goose bumps. I remember reading the lyrics for in vain and how I laughed when I got to the part with all the Xs.

I remembering finally being able to watch the complete performances from Spiral Staircase and being mesmerized. I’ve watched my favorite parts over and over again. Sometimes, I would play it in the background as I write. More often that not, I end up setting aside whatever it is that I’m doing and just glue my eyes to the screen. I have seen numerous recorded performances since then but those from Spiral Staircase would always be my favorite. If only Hizumi’s voice didn’t catch a snag during Squall then everything would have been perfect.

I remember writing my second attempt at writing a formal album review right after I got my own copy of their third full-length album, Redeemer and how it became the first of the many articles I would soon dedicate to them. I remember raving about MONSTERS and how my review found a kindred soul in another blogger’s own assessment of the album. That became my initiation to a network of bloggers whose common passion was jrock. I remember being dead-tired because it’s already past 3am and I’ve been analyzing data the whole day but then I saw gacktpause has just posted his live report. Naturally, the Sandman had to wait. I remember spending too much time backtracking notafanboy’s posts for anything and everything about D’espairsRay. I discovered her journal in my search for translated interviews. Lucky for me, her journal turned out to be a treasure throve for translations AND live reports.

And then there was that one time I messaged CDJapan on Twitter regarding the release date of MONSTERS. Lo and behold, I got a tweet from the band’s official account. The message was rather snobbish and it really bothered me. Toshi of CDJapan assured me that it was all just a translation error. Nevertheless, I messaged @despairs back asking whether it was just a bad day for them hence the rudeness. Whoever was managing it answered back with an apology and came up with the ludicrous excuse that s/he forgot to add a smiley to the first message. Yeah right. Like that would change anything.

I remember asking my friends if it’s sane to pay a huge chunk of my salary for a DVD. Every single one of them was against it. “But it was the 10th Anniversary live!”, I counter-opinioned. Plus it comes a shirt. A shirt! And a mini-photo book. And cellphone strap. And did I already mention that it comes with a shirt? Nevermind if the design looked like rainbow vomit safari.

Then one afternoon, I got shaken to the core when I read the news that D’espairsRay would be on an indefinite hiatus. The announcement said that Hizumi was very sick. I remember immediately tearing up. Our office manager, whose cubicle was near mine, saw me crying. I can still vividly recall the way her forehead crumpled as she tried to comprehend that I’m crying because  some strange band would be pausing activities. I remember that it suddenly rained very hard that afternoon and I remarked that the weather was sympathizing with me. The whole afternoon saw me in a daze. When I got home, I immediately put into practice everything I know about google-fu in search for a cure. I ended up not getting any sleep that night. I pored over dozens of articles and speed-read numerous reports. Then I condensed them into 1 post. The next day, I was so disoriented I ended up accidentally locking myself up all alone in the office. I literally had to wait for someone to come in the morning to set me free.

The day after my post got online, I noticed an unusual activity in my blog. Visitors were pouring in like mad. By mid-afternoon, the numbers have reached 3 digits already and that’s just for a single post. Come midnight, the count had exceeded the number of visitors I could ever hope for in a quarter of a year. I then found out that someone mentioned my post at the largest D’espairsRay community on Livejournal. I checked the thread and was rendered speechless. Two members of the community have translated parts of my post into Japanese and sent them to any available channel to D’espairsRay. Not a few mentioned that they too would do their own research. Everyone was thinking how to best show our support for the band during these trying times. The show of solidarity was just so overwhelming. At that moment, I was at my very proudest for being part of such a dedicated and unselfish fanbase.

During the hiatus, I did not go in search of another band to dedicate my attention. On the contrary, I sought the company of other mania. Twitter has become my refuge. And in it, I found people who share my longing. Together, we reminisce. As one, we look forward to Hizumi’s swift recovery and D’espairsRay’s triumphant return. I also found another proof that indeed, the world is flat. Sometimes, I do get bewildered when I realize that the people whom I’m discussing with the merits of Karyu’s method of baking a cake are scattered all over the globe.

Finally, I remember that just a few hours ago as I was about to attend an important project briefing, I saw a tweet bearing bad news. It contained just two sentences, 3 words and yet it felt that like a ton of bricks when it hit me. I went thru my meeting. Had dinner with a colleague. Did my grocery. Navigated thru the Metro traffic.When I got home, I dumped my things. Slumped on my bed and just let go of the tears I’ve been holding up for hours. There’s no triumphant return to expect. D’espairsRay is no longer coming back.

It’s again past 3am. D’espairsRay made me ditch the Sandman one more time. But then again, this could also be the very last. The last time I’m losing sleep for them, the last time I’m writing a post about them. To paraphrase Neruda, though this be the last pain that they made me suffer and these the last verses that I write for them. And yet, just as it was said in the very same poem: my soul is not satisfied that it had lost them.

Every fiber in me refuses to acknowledge that this is the end. I vow then to remember this day. I will recall all that was said and all the emotions it entailed. And then I would enter Yokohama Blitz and I would rock my heart out with the crowd as we all welcome back D’espairsRay, reunited.

this is not an anniversary post

Three years ago today, I wrote my very first post about music on SOLILOQUY. But no, today is not SOLILOQUY’s 3rd anniversary. 2009 doesn’t really count given that I only wrote 2 measly articles that year. What I want to celebrate today instead is something far much important: the first instance this musically-challenged noob decided to crossover from passive listener to active advocate of jrock.

If, by any chance, you strayed over into my About page, you would have noticed that it contains nothing but a quote from George Starostin, a respected linguist who also found recognition as a music critic, and I’m reprinting it here:

Of course, this is presumptuous. Who am I to make my opinions matter? Basically a nobody — not a musician, not a musicologist, not even a superb connoisseur of the pop culture, and not even a native English speaker. There are so many people in the world who are better “qualified” for this line of work than me, it’s not even funny. And who am I to give someone something? How have I been authorized? How have I even been able to suppose that someone might want to con­sider taking this bullshit from me?

The answers are simple: you cannot really know until you try

So try, I did. And SOLILOQUY was born.

Well, that quote was actually part of a very insightful essay on internet based amateur criticism entitled “Why Writing About Music Beats Dancing About Architecture”. I was moved the first time I read it but the essay took a whole new level of significance when I found myself reading it over and over again during the times I’m contemplating whether to continue with SOLILOQUY or not. I’ve had my fun. The numbers might not have been groundbreaking, but at least I knew that there are those willing to take some “bullshit” from me. Now what?

Starostin captured that dilemma spot-on:

Then, at one point, the rut set in, and a crisis was imminent. First came the understanding that the process is endless; timeless musical masterpieces may be few, but “good” music stretches out to infinity, in width as well as in depth, and my idealistic “encyclopaedic” dreams of covering eve­ry­thing worth covering were shattered and smashed…

Second came the understanding that I had run out of things to say — there’s only so many different words in the English language, and far from all of them are easily applicable to a music review, and this brings on the horrible idea that, perhaps, if you catch your­self applying the exact same words to a dozen different albums by different artists in different times, this might mean that the music sounds exactly the same? And if it does not, what good it is to try and capture its essence with such inadequate means?

At a moment like this, the only thing that keeps you going is understanding that, if you just drop it, this means you have wasted an awful amount of time and potential with all your previous writing. There is also the idea of “obligation”: people who like to read you expect you to entertain them further, and maybe they have a certain flimsy right to. But going on just for the sake of going on isn’t a lot of fun, either.

Ouch on that last line.

Given that I’ve only been doing this for about a year or so, to speak about being burnt out is premature and to some extent egotistic.  But when there are tons of drama happening in real life, sustaining an existence in the blogosphere becomes yet another task competing for attention. At the end of the day, you just have to ask: “Is this a commitment really worth pursuing?”

April 3rd of this year, I found my answer. So here I am, looking forward to writing more about the music that I love. Once more, with feelings.

note: to read Starostin essay in its entirety, go this page. I highly recommend it. Be cautioned though that the page takes time to load and the essay is at the very bottom.

The Departure of DELUHI

With the slew of announcements regarding this or that jrock band’s dissolution bombarding our newsfeeds last year, it’s not hard to imagine that perhaps someone somewhere was relentlessly listing the names of jrock bands on a mysterious notebook while shouting “SAKUJO” with all the dramatic flair he could muster.

Well, whoever he is, he has struck again.

Having followed their progress and reviewed majority of their releases last year, I note with sadness DELUHI’s latest announcement that they are going to disband.

The whole thing felt surreal on 2 accounts:

• when the band announced their hiatus way back in October, the reason was supposed to be to “further expand the band’s potential”. Leda even promised that when they return, “all of the members will have equal strength”.
• secondly, the announcement was made on April Fool’s Day. No one should trust the internet on April Fool’s Day.

It has already been 10 days since and the shocking statement is still up on their OHP.

DELUHI is unequivocally departing. And it sucks. Big time.

My first encounter with the band is via their song REVOLVER BLAST. To this day, it has remained one of my favorite songs and when played with Wake Up!, another DELUHI favorite, I am given my much needed dose of energy.  And energy is one description that I will always attach to DELUHI.

Being a relatively young band, the passion and youthful exuberance are still very much palpable in their songs and performances. Even with just 2 mini-albums under their belt, DELUHI had already exhibited so much promise and versatility. Give or take a few more years, and DELUHI could have been spectacular.

DELUHI reminds me of the how girugamesh used to be, you know, before Ryo and the crew decided to become a lil’ bit radio-friendly.  In fact, I honestly believe that their last mini-album Yggdalive could fit very well into girugamesh’s discography. It fills the gap between the brilliant self-titled girugamesh and the experimental MUSIC.

Much like girugamesh before them, DELUHI had all the potential to blaze a blistering path before them. This made it even harder to fathom why that fire fanned out this early. So far, what we know is that bassist Aggy wanted out. All the band members decided then decided to disband as  “there would be no meaning in the DELUHI they continued with”. Fair enough. All that’s left now is to wish them good luck. Who knows, perhaps someday they’ll get together again after they’ve found their way back from that unseen destination. Just as they said in their portentous last single Departure, they will ask themselves in 5 years time “Do you still have the same dream?” Then maybe, just maybe, we’ll get to hear from them again.

NO MUSIC NO REASON

Music has been an integral part of my life for as long as I can remember. High school was a breeze because of top40 hits. Then as I got older, my taste became, shall I say it, more refined. I survived all-nighters in college with my eyes on the computer and Rage Against the Machine blaring on my ear. In my college thesis, I almost included Radiohead, Nirvana and Silverchair on the acknowledgement page as they helped me get thru tons of research and re-writes.

And then I discovered jrock and as they say, my life has never been the same.

It all began with a mixtape.

My younger brother brought home a compilation of anime theme songs given to him by a classmate. I’m  a big fan of anime so he lent it to me. To be honest, I’ve never bothered with the theme songs before as I’m guilty of skipping the opening credits. But lo and behold, amidst the confetti of jpop fluff I discovered gems. That mixtape introduced me to the music of Siam Shade, Asian Kung-fu Generation, and of course, to the 1 of only 2 bands I would ever admit of being a fangirl,  L’Arc~en~Ciel (in case you’re wondering, D’espairsRay is the other one but we’ll get to that later).

Have Laruku, will follow

I owe it to that mixtape for introducing me to jrock. But what really immersed me hook, line, down to the damning sinker is the online forum Ongaku Society. Becoming a novice fan of jrock when one is tens of thousands kilometers away from Japan is tough, especially when my friends give me a blank stare every time I gush about a new song I discovered. Just imagine then my joy upon finding out that there is a site dedicated to Filipino fans of Japanese music. In the presence of peers, my fascination for jrock became a full-blown commitment.

Sadly, Ongaku Society is no more. The site was down for the longest time only to resurface without its most vital component: the forums. My memories though of the time spent lurking on the site remain intact to this day. For the longest time, Ongaku Society has become my one and only resource for jrock. It sated my appetite for all things L’Arc~en~Ciel and introduced me to the likes of Alice Nine, the GazettE and most importantly, D’espairsRay. I remember that visits to the Alice Nine and the GazettE threads were always a source of pure amusement to me. The said threads were always updated with the latest pictures and adorned with comments like “<insert band member’s name here> – sama!!!” I also owe it to those threads for expanding my vocabulary to include “ikemen” and “smexy”. Good times indeed.

I never stood a chance. Jrock-related stuff is actually part of my budget now. I made my first purchase in 2007: HYDE’s first and last album as a solo artist: Roetngen and Faith. I bought it off Amazon US as the American version of both albums were much cheaper. Then I learned about the wonders of Oricon and so I opted to buy my stuff on YesAsia and later on, CDJapan.

topmost was the actual box that encased my first jrock cds

There’s only one thing left really, and I’m fervently anticipating the day I get to complete the full jrock experience: to watch at least one of my favorite bands live. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I find it quite ironic that despite the Philippines and Japan being on the same continent, performances by Japanese acts are close to nil in my country. And for some reason, every time these bands embark on the a “world” tour, Asian countries are left out. Nevertheless, I’ll have my chance soon and I’ll be sure to faithfully document it here on SOLILOQUY.

So that’s just about it, my history as a jrock fan. If you have wandered into this site and have read up to this point, chances are we share the same affliction. The question now is, how did yours started?

(note: post title is courtesy of girugamesh from the album NOW)